#Penis

So you joined #Penis, the premier penis-related IRC channel on DALnet.

And you wondered why everyone idled.

Well, #Penis is not a fucking penis-help channel. Stop asking us how to make your shriveled little package bigger, stop asking us if penis pumps work (if the term “explosive decompression” in the proximity of your penis sounds appealing to you, by all means, go for it!), and stop asking us if “those pills I keep getting emailed about” work. I’m sure they “do”—it’s called the placebo effect and you’re a moron for asking.

If you need help wielding your penis, perhaps you could practice on the nearest farm animal or an unsuspecting newbie in the # channel—or, go read this.