#, the DALnet Default Channel: The Founder and Ops

arat

Esoteric

<kidwant> hello

<Baintz> fuck you

<kidwant> me

<kidwant> thank you man

<kidwant> very much

<kidwant> you gret ass

<kidwant> thats what important is

<kidwant> i new smalll asses

<kidwant> but you great ass

<kidwant> congrutalation

<kidwant> nice welcome to you

<kidwant> mister Baintz

eval

FDSA

Jamie

jeian

J^raxis

<prince> Do you know who I am?

*** prince is now known as Guest45972

<J^raxis> The Guest formerly known as prince.

<zac> Oh, I need to tell you abouyt my plan to get laid.

<J^raxis> If it involves me holding her down, the answer’s no.

<J^raxis> And no, I won’t buy the duct tape either.

<zac> It’s actually legal.

<J^raxis> …So it’s not the Olsen Twins?

<zac> No, not them.

<J^raxis> …Local elementary school playground?

<zac> No pedophilia.

<J^raxis> …Farm land???

<zac> No beastiality.

* J^raxis stops. Honest.

<J^raxis> I don’t have a pr0n folder.

<J^raxis> I have a pr0n partition.

<incivism> J^raxis: I’ll ban YOU next.

<J^raxis> incivism ← In Soviet Russia, voices ban YOU.

lilyput

* learn_the_wild_sex has joined #

* learn_the_wild_sex has left #

<lilyput> AWWW

<lilyput> IT LEFT

<lilyput> I was gona ask for lessons :(

Lupin-III

Mordecai

Never

<Never> Whenever someone I don’t recognize messages me, I respond with “I’m male.”

<Never> Try that. It chases 90% of them away.

<J^raxis> The MEGAPENIS. A giant wooden dildo, 10m long and 3m high, mounted on wheels.

* J^raxis rolls it into the channel.

<Never> What the hell is wrong with you?

* Never asks, suspecting he’s a sad little refrain to the symphony of insanity that J^raxis is conducting.

<zac> He’s a closet homosexual, Ryan, you know that.

<Neurosis> Hardly “closet.”

<Neurosis> I mean, if he’s in the closet, somehow he tricked us all into getting in there with him.

Phallus

Phallus is the current channel maintenance bot, who replaced polyphemus on 2006-11-05 after it died.

Snapple

* lye stabs Zac.

* J^raxis stabs lye.

* zac stabs lye.

* lye stabs J^raxis with Zac’s corpse.

* Snapple pisses on all of you.

* svenmonk bukkakes #

weks

weks is a second bot. The current Perl version is stupid and useless, and will soon be replaced with a new version—that actually does things!—written in Java.

* weks put his cock down

* weks put his cock ......up????

<J^raxis> weks: Down.

* weks put his cock down

*** Joins #: gsdmom

<gsdmom> hi everyone

<gsdmom> is this room up?

* J^raxis relays weks’ messages if you’ve him on ignore still.

<zac> You relay his messages even if he’s not ignored.

<weks> hueheuheueheuehue

<J^raxis> weks says “Huehuehuehuehue.”

<zac> Lovely.

<J^raxis> Yes, it is.

<weks> u bet ur fkojeroenrj it is

<J^raxis> weks says you bet your [?unintelligible] it is.

*** Signoff: polyphemus (Ping timeout)

[1 hour later]

<Quagmire> !voice

* Quagmire looks around for polyphemus

*** Joins #: polyphemus0

*** polyphemus0 was kicked by weks from # (Bot, bot, bot-bot-bot-bottt!!! (=\@O@/=))

zac

<zac> Not to Canada.

<zac> I hizzate Canada.

<J^raxis> Zac: CA just legalized gay marriages.

<J^raxis> They decriminalized pot, too.

<zac> I’m moving to Canada.

<zac> X-Chat is designed to not be used at all.

<J^raxis> zac: Cock?

<zac> No, server.

<J^raxis> I’m quite sure. Cock.

<J^raxis> Check again. :}

<J^raxis> (zac doesn’t know it yet, but we’ve replaced his server with a 2m-tall phallus.)

Cateria

DeMe

GreyAngel

katie

<zac> does the mini-vibrator work?

<katie> OH GOD YES

<katie> this one made my hand fall asleep

<katie> its strong

<katie> and i jizzed all over the place

lye

lye probably fucking hates you already.

* lye stabs Zac in the face with his wooden spoon of doom.™

<zac> You call your penis the wooden spoon of doom? Kinky.

<lye> You always find a way to take a serious discussion and turn it into some goofy shit.

<lye> I applaud you on your mastery of this.

<lye> I’m also going to smack you for it.

* lye smacks Pogo.

<EMMA_CAYANK> Is J^raxis Indonesian?

<zac> Yes.

<zac> He is.

<lye> INDONESIAN LIKE A FOX!

* J^raxis almost falls out of his chair laughing.

<J^raxis> Join detected : D_A_V_I_D_ (~mrjack45@61.5.113.4)

<lye> J^raxis: Knock that off.

<J^raxis> Public message detected : “<lye> J^raxis: Knock that off.” AnNoY-LyE-ScRiPt v1.0

Miss^Bitch

naz

Nevaeh

<Nevaeh> jraxis, did you lose your ^ again? I told you to stop taking it off when you frequent #cyber-teen, you leave it on their nightstand everytime.

otaku[29a]

polyphemus

Polyphemus was the channel maintenance bot, run by zac. Polyphemus handled automatic voicing of channel friends and regulars, had a “!seen” feature, and bankicked a few types of drones that frequently land in #. It also had only one eye and often randomly appended digits to its nick.