Iraq Changelog
By Anonymous
Saddam Hussein Poses an “Imminent Threat” to the American People
- 1.0 — Saddam Hussein is an imminent threat.
- 1.0.1 — Saddam Hussein is a gathering threat.
- 1.0.2 — Saddam Hussein poses a real and dangerous threat.
- 1.1 — The smoking gun will be a mushroom cloud.
- 1.2 — We can’t afford to wait.
- 1.3 — We never said “imminent.”
- 1.3.1 — Okay, maybe we did say it once or twice.
- 1.4 — We should have been more precise.
Saddam Hussein is Ready to Use Weapons of Mass Destruction
- 2.1 — Saddam has weapons of mass destruction.
- 2.2 — Saddam has nuclear weapons.
- 2.3 — Saddam has biological agents he’s never accounted for.
- 2.3.1 — The trailers are mobile labs for producing chemical weapons.
- 2.3.2 — Unmanned aircraft are ready to spread Saddam’s biological weapons.
- 2.4 — Saddam’s going to make more of all these weapons.
- 2.5 — We all know where the weapons are.
- 2.5.1 — Well, Saddam has used weapons of mass destruction.
- 2.5.2 — Iraq is a big country. We’ll find the weapons eventually.
- 2.5.3 — Saddam had weapons of mass destruction programs.
- 2.5.4 — Saddam had “weapons of mass destruction program–related activities.”
- 2.5.5 — David Kay? Who’s David Kay?
- 2.6 — It’s not about misleading the American people—Saddam Hussein is gone and that’s the most important thing.
The Intelligence is Clear
- 3.0 — We based our statements on our available intelligence.
- 3.1 — Saddam tried to buy uranium ore in Niger.
- 3.1.2 — Well, that was what the British told us.
- 3.1.3 — Did we tell you about Joe Wilson’s wife?
- 3.1.4 — Do you know a good lawyer?
- 3.2 — The intelligence is absolutely clear.
- 3.2.1 — Intelligence is never one-hundred percent certain.
- 3.2.2 — We didn’t manipulate the intelligence.
- 3.3 — There was no consensus within the intelligence community.
- 3.3.1 — We saw the same intelligence the last administration did.
Saddam Hussein has Deep Ties to al-Qaʻidah
- 4.0 — Saddam has long-standing ties to al-Qaʻidah.
- 4.0.1 — You can’t distinguish between Saddam and al-Qaʻidah.
- 4.0.2 — There is an al-Qaʻidah terrorist network in Iraq.
- 4.0.3 — Saddam has provided al-Qaʻidah with chemical and biological weapons training.
- 4.0.4 — Saddam will give his weapons to al-Qaʻidah.
- 4.0.5 — Colin Powell: I have not seen smoking-gun, concrete evidence about the connection [between al-Qaʻidah and Iraq].
- 4.0.6 — Vice President Cheney: I still believe there’s a connection.
- 4.0.7 — CIA director George Tenet: I told Dick not to say that.
The United Nations Just Can’t Handle This
- 5.0 — The UN had twelve years to deal with this.
- 5.1 — We don’t trust the UN to handle this.
- 5.1.1 — We don’t need the UN’s help.
- 5.1.2 — The UN should play a vital, but not central, role.
- 5.1.3 — You there, UN, tell Ayatollah Sistani that elections aren’t possible.
- 5.1.4 — UN, please oversee the election process.
- 5.1.5 — Pretty please? We’ll pay our dues.
The War in Iraq Won’t Hurt our Efforts in Afghanistan or the Hunt for bin Ladin
- 6.0 — Iraq won’t affect our hunt for bin Ladin.
- 6.1 — Assets have been moved from Afghanistan to Iraq.
- 6.1.1 — Assets are being returned to Afghanistan.
- 6.2 — We’re mounting a spring offensive against bin Ladin.
- 6.2.1 — We’ll catch bin Ladin this year.
- 6.2.2 — We hope to catch bin Ladin this year.
- 6.3 — Even if we catch bin Ladin, the threat will still exist.
Mission Accomplished!
- 7.0 — We won’t need hundreds of thousands of troops—that’s wildly off the mark.
- 7.1 — Mission accomplished!
- 7.1.1 — We’ll stay as long as needed and not one day more.
- 7.1.2 — The troops will be home in six months.
- 7.1.3 — The Iraqi army will provide security.
- 7.1.4 — Where’s the Iraqi army?
- 7.1.5 — We’ve disbanded the Iraqi army.
- 7.1.3 — The troops will stay a year and be replaced.
- 7.2 — We’re training the Iraqi army—Iraqification will work.
- 7.2.1 — We don’t need any more American troops.
- 7.2.2 — Well, maybe we do.
- 7.2.3 — We’re keeping 30,000 more troops on active duty than were authorized.
- 7.2.4 — We don’t know if this increase in troops is a spike or a plateau.
- 7.2.5 — We’re establishing “stop loss” so troops can’t leave.
- 7.2.6 — The Army is planning multi-year rotations.
The Cost to the American Taxpayer
- 8.0 — Economic advisor Larry Lindsey: The war will cost $200 billion.
- 8.0.1 — President Bush: You’re fired!
- 8.1 — The war will pay for itself very quickly.
- 8.1.1 — Iraqi oil revenue will pay for reconstruction.
- 8.2 — Our allies will help us.
- 8.3 — We’ll pay for the war through supplementals.
- 8.3.1 — Congress wouldn’t let us put it in the budget.
- 8.3.2 — Can we please have $87 billion?
- 8.3.3 — Well, we really can’t calculate what it will cost…
- 8.3.4 — Well, maybe we can—$50 billion may be on the low side.
- 8.3.5 — Ask us after November 2…
Democracy Comes to Iraq
- 9.0 — We will be greeted as liberators!
- 9.0.1 — We’ll establish democracy in Iraq!
- 9.1 — We’ll turn this back to the Iraqis quickly.
- 9.1.1 — Ahmed Chalabi will be welcomed with open arms.
- 9.1.2 — Well, not so fast—we’re prohibiting political parties.
- 9.2 — We have the November 15 agreement—it’s unchangeable.
- 9.2.1 — We will appoint a small governing council.
- 9.2.2 — Well, maybe a larger one…
- 9.3 — We don’t favor elections.
- 9.3.1 — Caucuses work in Iowa, why not Iraq?
- 9.3.2 — Okay, fine, we’ll have elections.
- 9.4 — We can’t return sovereignty until there is a constitution.
- 9.4.1 — Never mind, we’ll turn over sovereignty first.
- 9.4.2 — We need to return this to the Iraqis—how about June 30?
- 9.4.3 — We’re still focused on elections—the ones on November 2.
The Bottom Line
- 10.0 — Trust us. We know what we’re doing…
This piece is believed to have originally appeared at the Center For American Progress on 2004-03-19. J’raxis received it as an email forward.